Treating Your Relations Imam Ali Reza (A.S.) says: “At times it so happens that if a man who does not have more than three years to live ...
Treating Your Relations
Imam Ali Reza (A.S.) says: “At times it so happens that if a man who does not have more than three years to live treats his kinsmen well and speaks affably with them Allah extends his age by thirty years (i.e. ten times). And Allah does what He likes”. (Usulul Kafi, p.383)
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Imam Ja’far Sadiq(A.S.) says: “Treat your relations with compassion even if it be with a sip of water. The best thing with which you can maintain relationship is that you should protect your relatives from the cruelty and oppression of others. Observance of relationship postpones death and makes a man praiseworthy”. (Usulul Kafi, p.384)
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Imam Muhammed Baqir, peace be on him, says: “Observance of relationship makes one’s actions sacred, averts calamities, increases wealth, prolongs one’s age, enhances the means of sustenance and a source of one’s becoming popular. So fear Allah and be kind to your relations”. (Usulul Kafi, p.384)
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Imam Ali, peace be on him, says: “Hold your relatives dear because they are your wings with which you can fly and they are your roots to which you can return and they are your hands with which you can attack your enemies”. (Nahjul Balaghah, p.930)
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Good Conduct with the Parents
Meaning of Good Conduct
Abu Wallad al-Hannat narrates that he once asked Imam as-Sadiq (peace be upon him) about the meaning of the words of Allah (in the Qur’an): (And be good to parents.”)[1]
The Imam (peace be upon him) replied: “Being good to them means to accompany them in a good manner and never to wait for them to ask you for what they need.” Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 79
Responsibilities towards One’s Parents
Imam as-Sadiq (peace be upon him) has said (in regards to one’s parents): “Do not cast your gaze upon them except with love and compassion; do not raise your voice above theirs; do not raise your hands above theirs; do not walk ahead of them.” Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 79
On Behalf of Parents
Imam as-Sadiq (peace be upon him) had said: “What prevents a person from doing good to his parents - whether alive or dead - by offering prayers, giving charity, performing Hajj on behalf of them, (knowing that) the rewards of these acts are also granted to him, in addition to his parents? Besides, due to his good deeds and prayers (for them), Allah, the Mighty and the Glorious, shall grant him abundant good.” Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 46
Evil Parents and Kindness
Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (peace be upon him) has said: “There are three things which Allah, the Mighty and the Glorious has not permitted anyone to forsake: returning a trust to its owner, irrespective of whether he is a good person or an evil one; fulfilling one’s promises and covenants, irrespective of whether it has been made to a good person or an evil one; being good and kind towards one’s parents, irrespective of whether they are good or evil.” Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 56
Polytheist Parents
In a letter to Ma`mun, Imam ar-Ridha (peace be upon him) wrote: “To do good to one’s parents is obligatory, even if they are of the polytheists, however, they should not be obeyed in acts that go against the commands of Allah.” Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 72
Visiting the Graves of Parents
It has been narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his family) said: “Whoever visits the graves of his parents or one of them every Friday, Allah shall forgive his sins and shall regard him to be of those who had been kind to his parents.” Kanzul `Ummal, Volume 16, Page 468
Kindness to Parents and Paradise
Imam ar-Ridha (peace be upon him) relates that the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him and his family) has said: “Be good and kind to your parents so that your recompense is paradise, and if you have been disowned by them, your abode shall be the fire (of Hell).” Al-Kafi, Volume 2, pg.348
A Stern Look
Imam as-Sadiq (peace be upon him) has said: “Had Allah known of a thing more trivial and insignificant than the word ‘ugh’, he would have forbidden it (to be spoken to the parents). Uttering ‘ugh’ (to the parents) is the mildest form of ill conduct towards the parents. One of the ways in which a person can be regarded as being disowned by the parents is that he casts a hard and stern look upon them.” Al-Kafi, Volume 4, Page 50
A Hateful Look
Imam as-Sadiq (peace be upon him) has said: “Allah shall not accept the prayers of a person who looks at his parents with hatred, even if they have been unfair to him!” Al-Kafi, Volume 4, Page 50
Making the Parents Sad
The Commander of the Faithful (peace be upon him) has said: “One who causes his parents to become sad has indeed been disowned by them.” Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 64
The Imam’s Displeasure
Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (peace be upon him) relates: “Once my father saw a person and his son walking together. As they walked, the son was leaning against the arm of his father. (This act of the son was so abhorrent and infuriating to my father that) he (peace be upon him) never spoke to him throughout his life.” Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 64
Quarrelling with One’s Father
Imam as-Sadiq (peace be upon him) said: “There are three individuals that whoever argues with them shall suffer humiliation and disgrace: one’s father; a (just) ruler; and one in debt.” Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 71
Fragrance of Paradise
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his family) has said: “Beware of become disowned by your parents, for verily the fragrance of paradise which can be smelt from a distance of a thousand years, shall never reach the nostrils of one who has been disowned by his parents and one who has severed the bonds of kinship (with his relatives).” Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 62
No Entry into Paradise!
Imam as-Sadiq (peace be upon him) has said: “The person who has been disowned by his parents, one who consumes intoxicants and one who does acts of goodness towards others but imposes obligations upon them shall never enter into Paradise.” Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 74
Allah Shall Not Exhibit Mercy Upon Them!
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his family) has stated: “On the Day of Judgment there shall be four groups of people upon whom Allah shall not cast His look of mercy: those who have been disowned by their parents, those who place obligations upon others after doing good to them, those who reject the concept of fate and destiny and the one who consumes intoxicants.” Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 71
Chastisement in This World
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his family) has stated: “There are three sins, the punishments of which are hastened and not deferred for the hereafter: disownment by one’s parents, committing oppression upon the people, and ingratitude with respect to kindness.” Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 74
The Grave Sin
Imam as-Sadiq (peace be upon him) has said: “A sin that darkens the skies is being disowned by one’s parents.” Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 74
Wretchedness
Imam as-Sadiq (peace be upon him) has stated: “Becoming disowned by one’s parents is one of the Great Sins. This is because Allah, the Mighty and the Glorious, has termed such a person disobedient and wretched.” Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 74
Perdition
Imam as-Sadiq (peace be upon him) relates: “Once, the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his family) approached a youth who was on the verge of dying, and said to him: “Say ‘There is no God except Allah.’ But the youth’s tongue appeared to be tied and he was unable utter the words. When this took place several times, the Prophet said to a lady standing near the youth’s head: “Does this youth have a mother?” The lady replied: “Yes, I am his mother.” The Prophet asked her: “Are you angry with him?” She confessed: “Yes. I have not spoken to him for the last six years.” Hearing this, he said to her: “Be pleased with him.” She agreed and said: “O’ Prophet of Allah! For the sake of your pleasure, may Allah be pleased with him.” (Then, turning to the youth) he said: “Say ‘There is no God, except Allah’). (This time) the youth was able to recite the words and shortly afterwards, his soul departed his body.” Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 75
Acts without Benefits
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his family) has said: “One who has been disowned by his parents is told: ‘Act as you please, for I shall not forgive you.’ Whereas one who is good towards his parents is told, ‘Act as you please. I will be forgiving towards you.’” Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 80
Forgiveness of Sins
Imam Zainul `Abidin (peace be upon him) relates: “Once a person approached the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his family) and said: ‘O’ Prophet of Allah! I have committed every known evil act. Is there a chance that I may be forgiven?’ The Messenger of Allah asked him: ‘Are any of your parents still alive?’ The man replied: ‘My father.’ He said to him: ‘Go and be good and kind to him.’ When he left, the Messenger of Allah muttered: ‘If only his mother had been alive.’” Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 82
